Tears

I haven't posted anything for a few days. I've been busy and distracted. A's mother was in town for the weekend (that wasn't the source of my tears - well only some of them), and I had lots to do to get prepared.

I have resisted writing anything about the shooting in Connecticut because I just didn't know what to say. It is so heartbreaking to think of all of the families who are suffering from this tragedy. I have avoided watching the news, because I just can't face it. Once you become a mom, it is so much more difficult to see the children who were lost and to think of the mother's who lost them.

I hadn't really cried about it until this morning. My daughter's Nanny was telling me about some of what she has heard about the children who were lost. She mentioned that one little girl's Grandfather had passed away a few months ago and how he would have been waiting for her. I knew it was true. I thought of all of those souls of loved ones waiting to receive the victims of this tragedy, waiting to give them hugs once more.

It makes me think of my grandfather, who died about a year and a half ago.

I'm so grateful that he got to meet Sophie before he passed away, even if it was just once when she was tiny. I am so grateful to have my daughter. My heart just aches for the families that are hurting. I wish I could do something to comfort those poor mothers. The loss of a loved one is so difficult, I would think the loss of a child must be nearly unbearable.

I have been reading where people are lighting candles in memory of the victims and sending out positive energy. I think I'm going to try to do something like that. Our Nanny is going to light 26 luminaries on Christmas Eve in honor of the victims (she usually only lights 10). I kind of like her idea.

This is just my little way of sending out thoughts and hugs to everyone who is hurting. I'm not sure what the answer is to stopping this kind of violence, but I hope we come up with some answers soon.

I love you Nana, Papa, and Gran (Ora & Mama Gin too). There is not a day that passes that I don't think of you and wish I could have just a little more time to spend with you! It helps me to think that you are still watching us and loving us from somewhere just around the corner, somewhere not too far away but just out of reach.